I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
