I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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