Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't deserve a penis
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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