flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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