you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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