Umm I'm too high to move.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
