Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
