Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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