she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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