And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
