So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize