well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
