cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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