it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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