the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
