saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
