Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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