If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Randomize
