he shaved USA in his pubs
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
