Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
