Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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