and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
