she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
