can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
