I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
