I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
