RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
