Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
