I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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