How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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