3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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