I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
