got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
