if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
