"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
