it hurts more in the daytime
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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