last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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