You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
