I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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