I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
