how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
