Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
accomplished twins. life is a go
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I smell like Dick and happiness
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
