this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Boobs speak an international language.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize