I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
dude. I can hear the air.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
