I'm drive I can fine osifer
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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