There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
