he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk is a universal language darling
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