I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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