I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize