It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
