I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
