My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize