I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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