I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
