i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
