Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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