Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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