My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
