Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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