Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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