So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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